The thing is this, it’s great when it’s just in my mind and in my dreams, but the second I put it on paper, it became a 20 car pileup disaster where nothing could save it from a fiery wreck that takes at least 5 lives. I mean, it’s a good plan, but it’d be a great plan if it were anyone but me.

So usually this is how I work past 11pm at night. All ideas are good ideas until the morning, when they’re just dreams.

For the past nine months I’ve had lots of time to do some serious thinking and planning. I came to the conclusion that my plans were flawed in every way. I wanted something so bad I refused to look at all the flaws that were tearing me apart. That’s never good. I’ve lived and I’ve learned. I’ve shifted my plans in a new direction and thrown away the old ones. No longer am I striving for that family I’ve always wanted, but instead I’ve replaced it with the ambitions of a place to call home. This whole year I’ve given some serious thought to how I’m going to accomplish that goal and I’ve already put a plan in place to make sure I reach that goal in three years.

My other goals are not long forgotten. They’ve just take a backseat in the roller coaster that is my life. When I jump back on that path again, there is something very important she must have; goals and ambitions. I simply cannot see myself wasting time with someone who doesn’t know what and when they want it. Everyday I’m getting older and I have less and less time to make a mark in this world.

This post has become more of a ramble, but when I talked with my friend, they had a plan and the person they were with didn’t really think that far ahead. The same went for JD, but he ended it because there was nothing. Where my friend stands currently, I don’t know. The talk happened, but there isn’t a response yet from the other party.