The thing is this, it’s great when it’s just in my mind and in my dreams, but the second I put it on paper, it became a 20 car pileup disaster where nothing could save it from a fiery wreck that takes at least 5 lives. I mean, it’s a good plan, but it’d be a great plan if it were anyone but me.

So usually this is how I work past 11pm at night. All ideas are good ideas until the morning, when they’re just dreams.

EDIT: I also somehow developed my first ever migraine the night I was laid off. Horrible feeling. I had to turn off the TV (which is a super bright Toshiba Regza) and all lights. I couldn’t even be on the PC because it was killing me, not even Excedrin helped me, only sleep. And, I’ve also developed this bad habit of CONSTANTLY licking the back of my bottom row of teeth. I think it’s a nervous habit right now due to what’s been going on. It’s still irritating the crap out of me. Although, I don’t know if it’s caused by the lay off or because of my medication.

I’ve been applying for jobs all week long, searching and searching for something. I always feel it’s kind of a fruitless effort most of the time. I have been looking for a replacement job since September when there were rumors about the company closing. I’ve been on a total of 2 interviews in 6 months time, so I’m not super confident on everything right now. But right now it’s the beginning of the year, so hopefully companies are hiring and I hope this recession we’re about to enter isn’t going to effect the job market too bad.

I’m not upset, far from it. I’m half way relieved over all this, I just wish I had a better backup plan. I won’t start worrying too much about everything until a couple weeks from now. I have all the time in the world.

The worst part to me right now? I don’t have anyone to come comfort me during my time of need, give me a hug and kiss and tell me everything will be fine.

The song happened to be on one of many Epitaph Records collections of their artists. I couldn’t get enough of the song and my friend Kenny offered to trade me All Ages for some album from ALL that I owned, but never listened to. I played All Ages all the time. I memorized all the lyrics back and forth. I could air guitar and air drum like I was actually musically inclined. I scratched that CD up from so many trips from the home stereo to the car stereo. I started branching out and buying up the albums that were out.

I will say I am a purist when it comes to Bad Religion and I consider Suffer and No Control their two greatest albums ever recorded. I would even go out and say that post-Epitaph/Atlantic era, No Substance was their greatest work. The last two albums being far more politically vocal (although most of their work primarily is), it got to the point where I couldn’t listen to them any longer.

So why do I bring them up? They changed my whole perspective on music. Up to that point in my life, I listened to what was popular on TV/radio, with the exception of a few bands. Bad Religion started my assent into branching out my musical tastes and listening to whatever I felt like listening to without feeling like I was a pansy. Why them? I always just felt like I could relate a song to some aspect of society and something about that struck me as such a genius way to write your music. I actually listened to the lyrics and tried to understand them, but it didn’t help that Greg was getting his PhD and was using all these crazy words that I’d need a dictionary to look up. But it made them so much better than all the other punk bands, they had a message and there was thought put into the songs.

I eventually bought a set of drums and I drummed along to No Substance and The New America so many times. Around this time I also had the opportunity to see them live. It was simply one of those shows you’ll never forget. I had spent the first two opening acts around the 5th row area, but before Bad Religion took the stage, people started rushing it and so I retreated to the back to cool off and just enjoy the show. They put on a spectacular show in the wonderful Tabernacle. I didn’t like Brooks Wackerman on the drums, and I really still don’t now. I miss Bobby on the drums, even though they’ve had a few drummers since they formed, I felt Bobby was a great drummer, even though Pete Finestone appeared on my 2 favorite albums. Brooks couldn’t play the song, “Along the Way,” which is one of the greatest Bad Religion songs, it was butchered and even worse, over half of those there didn’t know the lyrics to the song.

Bad Religion for me has always been a band that no matter how horrible I feel at the moment, just listening to those songs makes me feel so much better. This band has helped me get through lots in my life. My problems may not be as big as others, but they’re always there to cheer me up.