Funeral For Yesterday

Last year was probably one of the toughest years overall for me, a lot of things happened that were completely out of my control and I struggled to find meaning and answers throughout it all. In the end, I think I’ve come to realize that it’s time to move on and try to fix what’s wrong with myself before I try anything new in my future.

Music always helps me cope with any hardships in my life and last year was definitely no different. Usually listening to Bad Religion will always make me feel good, but something more was needed. Something harder, more metal. I turned to Kittie’s 2007 release, Funeral for Yesterday, and every song just seemed to speak to me. There wasn’t a song I didn’t feel I couldn’t relate to in terms of how I was feeling. I hadn’t listened to Kittie in many years and I wasn’t really thinking I’d enjoy the album as much as I have. I put the CD in my car back in the fall and I just now removed it to make room for new music.

The songs all talk about past relationships, and although I’m fairly new to it all, I still feel the pain of what’s spoken in the songs. I’m constantly trying to find more and more songs that can express how I feel in a way that I cannot. I’m pretty terrible at writing down my emotions and thoughts in a coherent string of words and thoughts, I try hard, but I’m pretty inconsistent throughout my writings.

2008 is going to be a year of goal setting and meeting those goals. Currently they are as follows:

• Cisco CCNA
• Security+
• Minimize Debt
• Weight Loss
• No Relationship pursuits

That last one seems funny, doesn’t it? But I’m dead serious. I’m not going to be actively pursuing any lasting relationship this year. As much as I’d like to, I feel I can’t be committed completely when I feel so broken and disjointed myself. But if it happens, it happens, I’m not no longer reaching out and trying.

Everyone leaves you in the end – Kittie